Cupcake Glory

Refined sugar, n. fr-AWHS-ting

1. bribe,

2. nectar of life, 

3. root of all post-consumption misbehavior

Praise

The most profound compliment in the life of a child is how great an artist s/he is.

Birthday Cards

If a Kindergartner is making a birthday card for another individual the birthday card maker's name will appear more prominent than the receiver. It's all about artistic recognition.

Diversity

Diversity is who sits on the blue row and who sits on the red row.

Right, Left, or Both

My right hand and my teacher's right hand are not the same right hand when it comes to reciting the Pledge of Allegiance.

Distinguishing Details

Gender is relative."This is my Aunt. His name is Muffin."

Global Awareness

The biggest question of the life of a five-year-old: "Am I 'Star of the Day' today?"

Clothing: Optional

Staying dressed is like snatching a snake out of water--it takes a lot of skill and a lot of failed attempts.

Being a Good Friend

It is not being a good friend to hit the kid standing next to you in "the private."

Understanding Learning

This one was too priceless. "I don't like early out Wednesdays because we don't get to learn as much."

Space in Distance

Walking a half mile when you are five feels like ten miles, and it's impossible to keep the line from spreading to a city block.

Learning Curve on a Straight Line

Making random color patterns while staying inside the lines is harder than it looks.

Quality of Life

Naps always make everything better.

Matrimony & Procreation

I was told by a kindergartner, "You could still have kids. You have to get married. Just find a guy to ask you, then ask him if it's ok."